Judge Not - That Ye Be Not Judged

I know I am not the only one that has experienced this, but boy it can really feel like one is singled out to suffer some things. Personally, I hate complaining…when I have a problem, I’d rather spend my energies in seeking out a solution and if one is not to be found at the time then put it somewhere in the back of my mind and go back to it when I have a fresh perspective, and until I DO find a solution.

Problem is…sometimes things in life come at you and you can’t put them behind you because they keep coming up in FRONT of you. It seems like most of my life I have had people tell me that they just KNOW what I am thinking…and that no matter what I say or do…they just KNOW that I WANT to do this or that or that I am secretly doing this or that or THINKING this or that. I sometimes stop and think…do I have a target on my forehead that says…”Misread me and Judge me!”?

I do wonder if it is not just maybe one of the things that God has allowed to happen in order to help me get closer to Him. It is especially in these times that I look up to heaven and with a certain despair in my heart just pray for patience and thank Him for the faith that He has placed in my heart to believe and know that HE at least truly knows me and hears my every thought as well as sees my every action. He, that is the only One that can truly judge me. That said, I am only human, and it does hurt, because it is ALWAYS the ones CLOSEST to me that accuse me of the most preposterous things and it would make me laugh some times, really, if only they were not so convinced that their imaginary version of me is truly the ME that is the reality in front of them. It has been said that when people point the finger at you it is because of one of two reasons:

1. Insecurity in themselves
2. Seeing the faults they themselves posses reflected in you, even if you do not actually have those faults, rather than in themselves.

Number 2 is something that I struggle with, though I have seen it is a truth in some cases, I just can’t believe that some are guilty of the things they’ve accused me of. Either way, not much consolation in either case.

Back in the day, some would put away sane people into mental institutions due to some ulterior motive, like taking their money or whatever reason they had when the person was perfectly sane. Once in there, the perfectly sane victim, after being told over and over and over again, “you’re crazy” well they’d tend to start to lose touch with reality and their mind would indeed start to believe that they must indeed be crazy.

Well, this is something I understand. Whereas I have not been accused of being insane, the idea that another insists that I am wanting and thinking exactly the opposite of what is the actual truth, is certainly driving me a little nuts. It really can be SO disheartening when no matter what I say or how my actions are testament to the contrary, there are people who have such a strong imagination that they cannot see reality in front of their face and hold on tight to their own base ideas instead.

I am not even sure about posting this one, it has such a “whiny” tone, but since I do need to write things out and go back and re-read and update to actually put my thoughts in order I guess I will. I am also very, very aware of how much I DO have going alright in terms of the day to day things in my life, including a wonderful, smart, sweet and healthy little girl, as well as my health thus far, a roof over my head and a nice fat tummy to go with it…but frustration can be a thing that mounts over time and I do have to let it out once in a while…so here you have it!

I do think of Jesus, and how He was certainly without blame, and how He was mocked and many that did not believe Him and how it must have been hard for Him to hold His peace when it would be so satisfying I'm sure to summon all the angels of heaven to show all His mockers and unbelievers how wrong they were...and I know there is a real lesson for me in there...maybe I am too hard headed to learn it just yet?