Soul's Death and Re-Awakening...

A few years back (perhaps 4 or so) I really truly felt like I had lost my window of opportunity. I had waited too long...God was not going to let me come back now...I went too deep...too far into the darkness...there was no hope for me anymore...and I wrote the first poem below..."Soul's Death".

Soul’s Death

My soul is nigh, vexed unto death!
'Tis grevious pain, to take a breath!
My deep desire, to sleep so long...
where waking up, is like a song...
unsung...unfinished...left alone...
discarded, like forgotten prose...
My body, is the living temple...
chapel of flesh, for my immortal...
that weary grows, from living life,
fighting the secret war ; at strife.
Two sides, warring to gain control,
my soul at stake ; the victors spoil...
Almighty God...fighting the Devil,
who used to be...His loyal angel!
I've given up the fight...It's done!
God was my King, and now He's gone!
The devil reigns on my hearts throne,
My lifeless carcass...lying prone...
Is that God's still, insistent voice?
I hear so distant..."Make a choice!"
"Let not that demon be the conquerer!"
"Repent my child.....'ere life be over!"
"There is still hope...put up a fight!"
My heart replies...on mournful sigh...
"I've gone too far, grieve not dear Father...
the death of one, that was your daughter"

Now, more than 4 years later I have been able to write the first draft to the "response" or Part 2 if you will, which is titled "Soul's Awakening"...

Soul’s Awakening

I heard that voice again but stronger,
It seemed to come closer and closer…
“My child, you must needs understand
A Father’s Love – it never ends…
Did you think I’d let you go?
And let the devil claim you so?
I am the One that chose your soul
I willed it would not die alone.
Your soul is precious and it’s Mine
To give; To take; To bring to life”
“But Father I have let you down
I am not worthy of the crown!”
“No one is my little one,
That is why I sent my Son”
“I have sinned so much my Father”
“And do you repent my daughter?”
“Yes, with all my heart and soul!”
“Then I shall make your spirit whole
I will cleanse you of your sin
And welcome you to enter in…”
“Oh Father I’m still so confused
Fears and doubts of which I’m full!
I don’t know how to let go
And let Your Spirit take control…”
And then I felt my Father's Hand
And it filled me with warm command.
So sweet the feeling of surrender!
So sweet His voice, His touch so tender!
My Father never did forsake me,
But wrapped me in His Love and Mercy.
He found me in the midst of evil
And gave me back a hope of Heaven

I am immeasurably happy that there is a Part 2 of my life as it were...I know the fight is just begun again, but with God on my side, who can be against me? As long as I remember to keep close to Him each and every single day, knowing the evil in this world is quick to swallow the careless whole!